Dime Dating

Dime Dating Versus Traditional Dating

Although many dating sites (e.g., eHarmony.com, Match.com) parallel face-to-face dating scenarios, websites that support dime dating have drastically altered the way first dates are initiated and relationships are negotiated. Traditional dating scenarios typically follow common stages of development. That is, the relationship is first initiated, explored by both individuals, and then either continued or terminated based on interest and attraction. A great deal of interpersonal communication research focuses on the issues associated with relational development related to self-disclosure. Dime dating not only skips the basic dating initiation stage because of the offer of money or goods, but is also then maintained based on free market principles as the mode of attraction rather than the likelihood of a potential long-term partner.

Dime dating is heteronormative, meaning that there is a strong tendency for dime dating sites to subtly promote women as the attractive members and men as the generous members. This means that women, who are often referred to as “sugar babies,” are compensated for their young attractiveness, and men, who are often referred to as “sugar daddies,” are older and have the financial means to provide women with travel and money. These websites have taglines such as “dating with your wallet,” “never travel alone,” and “relationships on your terms” and advertise mutually beneficial relationships. The expectation becomes a traditional view of the nature of relationships, which views males as resource providers to the female partners. The traditional views of relationships like social exchange or the developmental perspective describe the interaction as an exchange of resources from each member of the relationship.

The “sugar daddy–sugar baby” labeling is often at the center of the controversy regarding dime dating, being considered an indirect form of prostitution. Dime dating websites have an explicit “no escorts” policy; however, sex is often exchanged for money or goods. The very nature of the sugar baby–sugar daddy labeling alludes to the expectation that sexual favors will be exchanged for compensation. The question of the degree to which this relational form [Page 387]simply mirrors traditional expectations whereby men pay for the expenses involved in dating and provide gifts to romantic partners is simply more open.

The major themes of justification and free market principles have emerged in initial dime dating research. Dime dating site users often justified the credibility of the website they were using as well as their reasons for participating in dating-for-profit, possibly because of the controversy and moral ambiguity of engaging in this type of dating. Basic free market principles were a major topic for dime dating site users, as the very nature of this phenomenon assumes that money and goods are exchanged for relationship aspects. Sugar baby–sugar daddy relationships often included the exchange of cars, apartments, and monthly “salaries” of up to $20,000 for the company of attractive younger women, whereas some women went on first dates for $500 and had 45-day European trips paid for in full. Research has also indicated that for-profit dating is satisfying for both the payer and payee, regardless of how attractive members are being compensated by the generous members.

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